Since I’ve been thinking of something to help me with stress, I’ve considered revisiting this picture I drew of Bug back in 2009. The one I’m showing I’ played with very little in Photoshop, mostly just adding the white highlights. Haven’t decided yet. Feel free to critique in the comments below if you like.
Category Archives: Fatherhood
This basically wraps up around 2-3 separate posts that I’ve never gotten around to writing. This picture captures some of Bugs latest obsessions and interests.
Lets see what we have here in this one picture. Wearing 2 separate boots/shoes (she had been stomping around in my flip flops about 5 minutes before I grabbed this picture.) She’s wearing hair bands and my Power Balance band on her wrist. Not sure what has gotten her started on this, but anything she can find to wear on her wrists, she puts it on. Silly bandz, hair bands, rubber bands, my Power Balance bands; we even bought her some jelly bands hoping she’d stick to just them, but she has just incorporated them into her collection. In no exaggeration, if we let her go wild, she could have 10-15 on each wrist. She’s even starting putting them on her ankles too!
Finally we have her talking on the phone too. Now admittedly I have fun with this one, if I catch her playing on the house phone or a cell phone, I’ll call it for her to answer and hear me on the other end. If she brings me the phone, I’ll even act like I’m her stock broker or something, asking if she wants to buy or sell and relaying her responses until she grabs the phone and starts yelling into it as if she’s bossing someone around. I realize I won’t find it as funny if I get a bill and she’s called Australia or something and left he phone off the hook without me realizing it, but until then, I do have fun with it.
This is definitely one of those pictures to save and show her when she’s older, as it captures her at this age in a perfect way. In a time where she wants to play with everything and her imagination is racing, I grabbed her doing 3 of her favorite things right now. A perfect example of a picture worth a 1,000 words, and one I couldn’t save until the next Wordless Wednesday.
Well, it’s happened. Something I thought had the chance of occurring but I was hoping I might be able to avoid. Bug has now drawn and colored on the wall. It happened the other night in just a blink of an eye, but none the less it occurred, in all it’s black ink pen and green crayon colored glory! (I swear, back turned 15 second, 20 tops!)
I’ve had a hard time deciding how I wanted to handle it. Of course, initially I rushed over to her, told her no, grabbed the crayon (pen was on the ground already) and proceeded to point to the wall where the offense had occurred and tell her no, she doesn’t color on the wall. My initial internal reaction was to be harsher but I quickly realized it’s not her fault. Before this moment she didn’t know she shouldn’t draw on the wall. She just knows Daddy praises her when she draws and colors on paper. So naturally, why wouldn’t she want to do it on something bigger? Fortunately since the other night there has been no repeats, and she has had chances, but has opted to come sit in Daddy’s lap and help highlight his notes, or write down her own opinions.
My biggest debate on this is how do I react or handle it when it happens again? Yes I said when, not if. If she’s anything like her Daddy it’ll happen again. There is still a drawing I did when I was around 3 on the inside of one of my Granny’s doors that she still talks about to this day. So what do I do? I want to be sure she knows she’s doing wrong and I want to discourage the behavior, but not to the extent that I risk taking away any enjoyment she has in drawing or coloring (self admitted selfishness on my part here too). Its something as a parent I knew I’d eventually face, and had yet until now. And now that I’m faced with it, I’m at a bit of a loss as the course of action I want to take. I guess I have until next time to sit and stew on it, between now and then though, hopefully I can keep my mini Picasso to work solely in the paper medium, and avoid drywall.
Below: The aforementioned artwork of yours truly at a much younger and more innocent age.
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Bug officially used her potty for the first time tonight! She came into the bathroom while I was in there shaving. Typically she laughs at me because I have shaving cream on my face, but this time was different. She had her laptop with her and went straight to her potty and lifted the lid. I sat and watched her, even offering to hold her laptop as I watched her negotiate how to sit down on this seat with a hole in it. Eventually she had both feet in it, so Daddy decided to intervene. I picked her up and thinking that while she showed interest in sitting on it, I’d take her diaper off while I was in there just to give her the whole concept. So, I took her diaper off, sat her down, put her laptop in her lap, and watched as she sat there like she knew what she was doing and looking happy as a lark.
A few minutes later, she stood up and handed me her laptop. I at first just brushed it off as she was already bored, and was ready to go back out from the bathroom. Daddy wasn’t entertaining anymore. When to my surprise, I saw that she had in fact used her potty! I was so excited and overjoyed I started cheering and clapping, and I believe the initially reaction actually startled her. After a few moments, she realized I was in fact cheering for her, so she proceeded to start clapping and giving her typical “yay!” in excitement.
She teased me with acting like she was interested in using her potty on my birthday, and now 3 weeks later, she’s used it for the first time! Now do I expect a sudden change in behavior? A daily use of the potty? No, I’m not near that optimistic! I am however excited by the possibilities! Maybe potty training won’t be so bad? One can hope!
Well, since today is my birthday, I thought I’d self indulge and make out my own Birthday/Christmas list, there really isn’t any real purpose to this, but here ya go, really in no particular order:
iPad – Most might find this surprising if you just read and know me from this site, but until my iPhone, I had never owned a product from Apple, but I have slowly fell in love with them, and find the positives in them not only in my life but how I can use them in entertaining and educating my kids. I already own an iPhone, so of course I want the next thing up!
MacBook Air – Like I said before, I’ve never own an Apple product before my iPhone, but just the thought of having a MacBook makes my mouth water. I’ve never even played with a Mac in a store, but I still want this, for multiple reasons.
Bug to get potty trained – Okay, this site isn’t totally tech related, I still have to show my Daddy side, and although she’s just 19 months old, she’s starting to tease this and well, its just a nice thought to have, so it’s a definite on my wish list
Google TV – I keep reading good things about the Logitech Revue and Google TV, although its not been embraced across the board yet, I still want it!
AT&T to expand 3G – Okay, I realize this won’t happen, but I still have my iPhone, so I’m putting this in, because well, working in 36 counties and only having 1 that has 3G, well Verizon offers 3G in at least 20 and there’s no reason AT&T shouldn’t. Right?
RC Helicopter – Yep, I’m a big kid, and with all the stress and headaches I deal with, I see nothing wrong with wanting a toy once in a while (ignoring me attempting to slowly rebuild a certain Spider-man collection). Plus my house has high ceilings, so the house itself just screams to have a rc helicopter flying around! Right?
NOOKColor – So I’ve decided that at 30, I should try and read more, and what better way to get me going and entice the tech geek then with something like this? Plus with everyone and their mom owning a Kindle, plus B&N is looking to launch its own Android app store in the coming months, so that just adds interest to it.
Kinect – Yeah I might be 30, and I might be a father of 3, but that doesn’t stop me from WANTING to play games, even though I haven’t really had a chance to sit down and play a game in 5 years (unless I sneak to my bro’s place). So yes, definitely I have this on my list, if only for the stress relief aspects, because no offense to Mario, but he can only go so far sometimes.
Google Nexus S – I’ve been lucky enough to test a few Android powered phones lately, and it has my interest peaked. The problem is, not actually owning the phone limits what I can and cannot do with the models I get to test. The Samsung Nexus S comes with Google’s latest version of the Android OS installed right out the box, delivering a sleeker interface and added functionality like multi-tasking, copy & paste, an improved keyboard, and the ability to turn the Nexus S into a Wi-Fi hotspot. The hardware is beefed up too. Just makes me itch wanting it.
Wrist Watch – Now you might wonder why I’m not specific, well its because I’m not that picky! I tend to be pretty rough on watches, getting the faces scratched pretty quick, and I haven’t had one in a couple of years, and my wrist feels naked and lonely without one. Plus I find myself looking at my Power Balance band to check the time once in a while, and I’m worried people are going to start wondering.
Woodford Reserve Distiller’s Select – WHAT?! Yep, Kentucky born and raise, so I’m definitely a bourbon drinker, and nothing is better then bourbon from just up the road in Versailles. I’m truly a simple man at heart, and Woodford Reserve always makes me happy.
Okay, so this is something that I have written and rewritten a few times, but have decided today to finally post. Almost a month ago, Bug had surgery. Nothing major mind you. Something kids everywhere have done nearly every day. She had tubes put in her ears and ended up having her adenoids removed. Today she had her checkup and the doctor said she’s healed quicker than expected, and just being around her now, you can tell a major difference in her speech, walking, and overall behavior, but the experience up to this was, well somewhat rattling for ole Dad.
Up front, you have to understand, it seems like for one reason or another, we’ve been taking Bug to see a doctor, or she needed to see one since she was born. Fortunately, its never been anything major, but it’s been enough to keep me on edge, and every time something else comes up, it puts me right back there again.
To start it all off, Bug was 3 weeks, almost a month early. What felt like the entire pregnancy there seemed to always be something going on, to the point where there were a few times I was nervous going to the doctor because I was worried we wouldn’t get good news (and I’m proud to say, I only missed 1 doctors appointment the entire pregnancy!) Part of this is where she gets her nickname from me. When she was born, she was 6lbs 6oz. When we left the hospital she was down to 6lbs, 3oz. She wasn’t tiny tiny, but to me she was still little, she was my little Bug.
The next event came the same week as her four month check up. She woke up with a fever early in the morning, but nothing too severe, we gave her some Tylenol and sent her on her way to my Mother-n-laws, who keeps her during the day while we work. It didn’t take long for me to get a call from my wife that she was taking Bug to the doctor because the fever wasn’t getting any better; it seemed to be getting worse. Fortunately I was able to get there, where they said she was running an extremely high fever and was dehydrated. I stayed in the room as they tried to get an IV into my little girl at ever possible location, all to no avail. Eventually it was decided to transport her to UK Children’s hospital. Once there, they were able to get an IV into her, start getting some fluids into her, and she seemed to start feeling better, only problem was, no one could tell us what the problem was. Once the doctors let us know that we’d be staying at least overnight for observation, I decided to run home and get some stuff for us, while my wife had her parents there with her. The drive is just over an hour one way, so getting home, getting stuff, and coming back equaled a little over 3 hours. When I left, temp was down below 100, everything seemed to be going good. I’m gone 3 hours, within 10 minutes of getting back and I get a phone call asking where I was. Bug’s temp had spiked back up to nearly 105, and my heart dropped! How could I let my little girl down? How could Daddy leave her and not be there is all I kept thinking. We were at the hospital for a total of 3 day, and I never left the building again until it was time to go home.
Since that scare, we’ve fought high fevers, and it seemed like we could never shake some type of ear infection. Finally about 2 months ago we took her to the doctor. She’d been having a little temperature and you could just tell something was wrong. Turned out both ears were infected. So they sent us to an Ears, Nose, and Throat specialist, who after looking at her rather quickly, decided she did in fact need tubes put in her ears.
My initial reaction was a bit of a stomach drop, simply because I didn’t want any type of procedure done on my little girl. I wasn’t really worried about the tubes, because my wife’s nephew had them before, and I had heard of other children having them without problems. The worried feeling was somewhat lifted as the doctor proceeded to explain the procedure to us, she would just be put to sleep with gas. She’d be out of our hands 10 minutes. Once asleep they would look at her adenoids and if they were enlarged, they’d go ahead and remove them. The more he talked, explained the procedure and what was going on with her, the more I felt relieved and realized that this would be very beneficial to Bug, not only health wise, but possibly development wise, and with the constant ear infections, she probably wasn’t hearing as well as as she could.
Then the day came. We had to arrive and the surgery center just after 6am, with a little girl, who was relatively happy for being up so early, and not being able to have anything to drink yet. I was nervous to say the least, but keeping it together and just thinking it’ll be quick, and she’ll feel so much better for it. Then came the moment that I felt my stomach drop again. As they took us back to help put her in her gown and get things prepped, they let us know that not only were they putting her out by IV (not gas) but that the procedure would be around 45 minutes (not the 10 minutes we were told). As the nurse was telling us all this, asking the typical questions about family history, I have no doubt my face was pale white. I was already having anxiety issues about my little girl having a procedure done, but now that everything we had been told the week before has been thrown out the window?! I’m shocked I was able to keep it together, especially at the site of the nurse carrying her away from us as we had to walk back into the waiting room. For the next hour, I just kept thinking how the nurse just kind of took her that I didn’t get to give my baby girl a kiss or tell her I love her; they just swooped in and took her!
Finally, once our name was called to come back, we were able to talk to the doctor, who said everything went fine, tubes were in, and that they did take her adenoid out as they were blocking 70% of her passageway. At this point, my thought patterns changed. I just thought “70%?! My baby had to have been miserable!”
Now a month later, she’s checked out with flying colors! The doctor said she’s healed much quicker than expected, everything looks good, plus my skinny minny has gained a pound and an inch since she went in for surgery! Ultimately as long as she’s happy and healthy all the torture and stress Daddy has to endure for her is fine, and bottom line, her being happy and healthy is all that matters.
Tonight is the first night I’ve spent away from home since Bug’s surgery, and well, its not be completely smooth for me. Ever since her surgery, she’s been a happier baby overall; livelier, more talkative and interactive. It was hard enough for me to leave her this evening the way she was playing and trying to keep my attention, and it broke my heart leaving, but just a bit ago, I couldn’t keep my heart from breaking.
Basically, Bug is refusing to go to sleep without my there. Every noise she hears, she looks at the door and starts saying my name like she expects me to come through the door. I tried talking to her on the phone, and the excitement her had in hearing my voice brought me to tears, because as happy as she was to hear me, and even though she wasn’t going to truly understand, I had to tell her that Daddy wouldn’t be there tonight. Tried telling her goodnight and she told me “No” in her precious fashion. I’d tell her that I love her, and she’d mumble something back, not quit “I love you” but it’s getting closer now that she has the tubes in her ears.
So basically in the upcoming years, I’m screwed when it comes to travel. I’ve managed to deal with her playing with me extra, or doing what she can to keep me at home and from leaving, even chasing me to the door. Once she starts getting out “I love you” or the first time she says “Daddy come home” I’m not sure I’ll be able to stay away. I’m man enough to admit that part of tonight brought me to tears, hearing her on the other side of the phone, knowing she was looking for me and waiting for me to come back, but travelling occasionally is part of it, parents everywhere do it every day. It’s just the difficulty involved, now that’s she’s starting to communicate, was not something I had prepared myself to deal with.
No idea why she started this, but in the car yesterday I looked back, and Bug was licking her leg!! Absolutely no idea why she started this or why she was doing it and fortunately she hasn’t repeated it. She did however have no problem posing and repeating the action so I could snap a few pictures of the said behavior. She has been absolutely fascinated with her tongue lately, so I pass it off as that more then anything else. Can’t help but smile at it though….
Today is my son’s birthday. I don’t get to see him or give him a birthday hug, for another three days, I’m hoping to get a phone call with him late, but he’s sick and its up to his mother and how he’s feeling if I get to.
He is my first and only son. He’s my pride and who makes me strive to be a better man, a better father, because as little as we get to spend time with each other, he deserves the best he can get for every window of opportunity we have. I cannot imagine many things being much greater of a challenge then what I have gone through these first 4 years of his life, but no matter how upset I get, or jealous of other fathers with their sons, when I sit back and hear “Daddy, I love you” or sit and watch him draw a picture of us together, all the emotion gets ripped away, leaving the love and pride I have in my son.
Unless you have to share custody of a child, you really don’t know the daily personal trials you deal with, including of all things, guilt. However, the highlight of every other week is the day I know I’ll be going down and getting him. It always seems like the work day goes faster. It hurts to see how quickly he grows where I see him in spurts rather then on a daily basis. In what feels like a flash of light he can go from barely talking, to singing his ABCs, to asking me to read every single road sign between the drop off and home. Its a strange sensation, having such joy and personal hurt out of the same thing, but that the reality of it. I won’t be there to play tooth fairy when he loses a tooth. I’m not able to take a day off work and stay home with him when he’s sick. I’ve not been able to be who I wanted to be for him. Am I better? I try to be, but its hard to truly tell, when most of our one-on-one time is spent traveling on the road because once he’s home, everyone wants to see him. I hate having to share when I have such a small amount of time, but I hate him not being around his family worse, so I do my best to swallow my selfishness for him.
I realize I won’t get to do some of the things with him like other fathers will, my time is limited right now, but it was my decision to be his father, to stand up and take responsibility, and no matter how hard the road is to travel sometimes, I’d never go back and change the path I chose, because he is my son, and I love him with all my heart. Happy Birthday son.